Alex’s Un-Scary Movie Challenge: Godzilla (2014)

Here at Spooky Colorado, we’re interested in more than just haunted houses. We like to get scared any way we can, and that includes the odd horror movie. The problem is, I’ve never found a movie that scared me, ever. Sure I’m susceptible to the odd startle scare just like everyone else, but no movie has ever had me sleeping with the lights on and a baseball bat under my pillow. I’m on a quest to change that. Think you know a film that’s up to the challenge? Visit our contact page and select “Alex’s Un-Scary Movie Challenge” from the dropdown.

 

GZA_250x250_GooglePlus_Profile_rev copyIn this edition, we take a look at the new Godzilla movie which, as far as I can tell, is the story of how enormous prehistoric creatures from the Earth’s distant past have all banded together to wipe out one man’s entire lineage, past present and future. Oh, and also there’s some stuff about nature and balance and things like that. But mostly, a bunch of monsters just show up with the expressed goal of ruining one guy’s day. Hard.

Scare Factor 5
Acting 7
Props/Sets/FX 9
Length 6
Total 6.75

It’s been a pretty bad dry spell for the “giant freaky monsters crushing our city” genre lately. The best we got in the last decade was Pacific Rim, where for the first time in a long time humans actually found a good way to bring the fight back to the monsters. No ineffectually spraying them with bullets, no sir! The only way to respond to a threat of this nature is with GIANT. FREAKING. ROBOTS!

TAKE THAT MONSTERS!

TAKE THAT MONSTERS!

That wasn’t a bad thing, in and of itself, but it felt very far removed from the spirit of the movies that had come before, which basically featured enormous monsters duking it out with the massive collateral damage as basically a side effect. And we could talk about Matthew Broderick’s Godzilla from 1998, but the less said about that movie, the better.

Hello moviegoers! Godzilla here! Just being a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex like I always am.

Hello moviegoers! Godzilla here! Just being a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex like I always am.

I saw Godzilla with a couple of friends from work last week, and it was pretty good, I have to say. The buzz about this movie has been going strong since it was first announced, and I’ve been hearing my friends say that it’s going to be fantastic, a work of giant-monster fighting art that is everything that Pacific Rim was not.

I actually liked Pacific Rim when I saw it, but I think I was predisposed to that position before I got into the theater, mainly because the computer voice was none other than Ellen McClain, basically making it GLaDOS the Movie for any of the more obsessive Portal fans out there (protip: there are a lot of these people in the world). But if I take a step back and look at the whole movie objectively, I can see that, yes, there are definitely points in the film that had fairly significant issues to overcome.

None of that is to say that Godzilla doesn’t have some of those same issues to overcome as well, but this latest entry in a long series of films about men in rubber suits dressed as giant lizards laying waste to huge sections of Japanese landscape comes from a pretty good starting place just by nature of its lineage. Overall, it seems like a fairly solid Godzilla movie… but does that make it a good movie period? The answer is a resounding… maybe. Let’s dive in.

WARNING: Significant plot details after the jump. Spoilers abound. Danger of being crushed by prehistoric creatures is high.

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Alex’s Un-Scary Movie Challenge

The last time I looked like this at a movie was never.

The last time I looked like this while watching a movie at a movie theater was… never.

Here at Spooky Colorado, we’re interested in more than just haunted houses. We like to get scared any way we can, and that includes the odd horror movie. But I realized something a few years ago – my relationship to horror movies is totally and completely dysfunctional.

The problem is, I’ve never found a movie that scared me, ever. OK, maybe that’s too broad of a statement, because of course I’m susceptible to the odd startle scare just like everyone else. But no movie has ever had me spooked, freaked out, “I’ll-just-sleep-with-the-lights-on-now-or-maybe-not-at-all-ever-again”, wandering around the house with a baseball bat sort of scared. So now, I’m on a quest to change that. And you can help! More details after the jump.

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All Aboard the EyeHeartBrains Express, Destination…Horror!

Every year, Colorado’s creepiest, ghouliest, bloodiest dis-members come out to play. On October 19, the 8th Annual Denver Zombie Crawl and Organ Trail will once again take over the city. Whether walking, crawling or running to Skyline Park at the heart of town, the zombies are coming.

Join people of all ages in Downtown Denver to kick off the day with the Organ Trail. With “one part Amazing Race, one part Fear Factor, one part Haunted House”, this race breeds the ultimate trifecta of elements in horror. Make your way to the park of the undead, where together zombies from all walks of life, er, death, will gather to race through town solving the clues that make up the Organ Trail and what lies at the end: Cash Money, money money money.

Teams will work together, solving the riddles that will take them all over downtown in search of first prize (and second and third). Bring your wallets, bring your team, bring your camera and I.D. but whatever you do, do not forget your BRAINS! Seriously, though, all that stuff is mandatory.

Document your trek through video and photo, taking care to capture the moments that will bring you to success…if you’re quick enough! Or, lead to your failure if you can’t complete the challenges on time. Bring your brainiest phone and a GPS along to help guide you through the city of the walking dead. For, to reach the end, one must first follow the trail.

Once you’ve made your way through the bloody mess that will be Denver, stick around for even more fun at the Zombie Crawl! From costume contests, to the rising of Michael Jackson through some truly Thriller dance moves, all the way to the after parties. Before the night takes the day, wander! Lining the streets lay vendors waiting to serve the moving corpses. With games, crafts, gifts, merchandise and food for the whole lifeless family, what’s not to like?

As the moon rises, follow the flesh-eating hordes to a full on monster mash! Make the night unforgettable with a ticket to the Zombie Prom at Meadowlark and then try to ah, ah, ah, ah, Stay Alive at Casselman’s Bar and Venue. Bring a date or go with friends to these R-rated afterlife festivities and dance your heart out…if you’ve still got one!

Zombies, crawl out!

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Spooky Colorado’s Jason Peterson (critic) ready for the 2013 Zombie Crawl

2013 Zombikini Carwash

Car Wash signage

So the 2013 Zombikini car wash was this afternoon. Now in its second year the car wash is an event, organized by Vile Visions that raises money for the International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association by washing a load of cars encrusted with the last remains of summertime adventures (which is to say, grime) while providing live music and entertainment for families. It’s a great event that helps get a lot of cars cleaned, something the state is in desperate need of, and that also helps raise a lot of money for an absolutely amazing cause. Above all else, it’s a chance for people who mainly stay indoors to get outside, enjoy a little fresh air (or at least, slightly fresher), and stock up on Vitamin D by getting some much-needed sunlight.

…or at least it would have been, only the weather in Denver today was something like this:

The Storm of the Century

The Storm of the Century

…only slightly worse.

But was that enough to get us to cancel the opportunity to hang out with attractive women in bikinis with a decidedly ghoulish bent, you ask? The answer to which is, of course, “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” And so we simply moved the event indoors.

It's loud!The live musicians were pretty fantastic and did a good job of keeping the crowds entertained and engaged. I could tell the party had really started ramping up when I noticed my phone telling me that the noise level in the room was roughly equivalent to what it would be if I were to stick my head inside of a Diesel engine block.

The Zombikini itself, for those who aren’t aware, is a pretty unique piece of… what’s the word… clothing I suppose, although technically there’s no cloth present. But in a world where ladies’ swimwear is usually dominated by stripes, solid colors, the occasional floral print, or itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka dots, the Zombikini stands alone in the fashion industry as the sort of product that could only be born of a deranged imagination – and of course I mean ‘deranged’ in the best possible way. 😉

Bloodlust Productions provided these particular Zombikinis, and they were pretty spectacular to see. You can really appreciate the sort of work that’s gone into each one, and they’re all painstakingly detailed and well-done. As Ferris Bueller once said, “If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up,” and I’m not just saying that because if more people did then, by extension, there’d be more girls wearing them all over the place, no sir. That’s just not the kind of ulterior motive I’m capable of.

Zombikinis

Zombikinis, displayed in the least entertaining way of the afternoon.

A Sensual Portrait photographer - now that's what I call devotion to duty.

A Sensual Portrait photographer – now that’s what I call devotion to duty.

The afternoon finished up with a few shots of the ladies outside, both taking advantage of the local architecture and a white hearse that just happened to be in the area, all done by the artistic (and dedicated) photographer at A Sensual Portrait. The photographer is featured at right because I just know for sure that when you click on a post about “Zombikini”s, this is exactly what you, the public, are expecting to see, right?

All in all, it was a very enjoyable afternoon, and in the end we managed to raise a bit of money for a great cause, which is always, always good news. If you weren’t able to make it down to join us this afternoon but would still like to make a donation to help children and families in need, you can do so by clicking this link.

Alright, alright, here’s a photo of what you’re after. I know you better than you think that I think that I do. I think. Maybe. More photos are after the cut.

Zombikini girls with the review team

Girls in Zombikinis.
Fun Fact: If you look carefully in the background, you can see that the Spooky Colorado review team for 2013 is also present!

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New Website is Live!

It's Alive!

It’s Alive!

As you can see, we’ve created a new version of the website. This new platform should be a lot more user friendly – it’s searchable, scaleable, responsive, cellular, modular, interactive-odular…

Of course as with any new release we’re open to feedback. What’s working, what’s not? What’s perfect, what’s terrible? Let us know in the comments section below and we’ll look at some of the issues people bring up and try to solve as many as we can!